oh my God don't just say that ( what if people hear read it??? )
they were real but like I haven't done anything like that in decades and I know I fumbled a lot too, even with you being patient with me
I just I'm not sure why you would want to stop that stuff now, but if that's what you'd prefer, I was just trying to say that I'd understand why you might want that, even if it wasn't for a challenge
oh, i meant that like a challenge to sexually frustrate you or something but not forever??? like, teasing someone until they want it really bad, then it feels better when you finally get it i dunno, i wasn't thinking that hard about it see, this is what i mean with the dumb shit i didn't know you'd take it that way
i don't wanna stop having sex with you not for real you can't get better at anything without trying at it a bunch first, so who gives a fuck about fumbling i'm telling you, the hottest part to me is when i can get you to make those fuckin noises and saying my name like that i'm not gonna be disappointed unless i think you hated ME
( alex is just texting stuff like it's okay to just talk about the intricacies of sex, and bucky is doing his best to not throw his phone through the wall. he needs to pause repeatedly as he replies to remind himself that this is probably normal now. communication is the in thing, right? so. so.
not that it stops him from turning red as he's typing back. )
it's not dumb! that would be really really fun I think I'm just not used to talking about anything like this at all it kind of wasn't really a thing sex was just sex making babies and you just do it the same way cause you're not supposed to talk about it or well you're supposed to feel ashamed when you talk about it look I'm just I'd like it okay so it's not dumb and you're not dumb I'm just not that smart maybe
that's the stuff I like most when I'm with you too the reactions you have and saying my name the way that you do I could never hate you, Alexander you're stuck with me
dead ass it wasn't just making babies though not that i've got the whole eye-witness account but gay people have been fucking around for like forever literally lol you know all that shit in egypt where it's like "these two dudes lived in the same house and shared everything and they left everything to each other when they died, and they got put in the pyramid the married couple way but that was probably a mistake because they were like brothers"? those dudes HAD to be fucking anyway nah i get what you mean though it's not like people today aren't still kinda like that the ashamed of talking about it thing you're not dumb, i just say shit without thinking about how it sounds sometimes i'm dumb
good, i wanna be stuck with you i love you, james thanks for putting up with me
well yeah I know people have been fucking around forever but I'm like the most stereotypical white guy from the 30s so why would I do that? you're not dumb stop it if anyone's dumb about this it's definitely me, not you I'm the moron who never questioned his preferences because I had it too good
I love you too okay so goddamn fucking much I'm not even sure I'm doing any of this right spending time with you is something I love though not something I put up with
well, yknow recognizing your privilege is the first step nah but really like i'm sorry i stressed you out just gotta be more straight-forward in sex talk or gay-forward lol
aw shit dude i'm gonna cry i hope this means my birthday present is gonna be lit as fuck
[ he was feeling too many emotions and had to run and do a kickflip over them. ]
I mean I was always aware of it I was never not aware of it when your best friend is someone like Steve, you think about a lot of that stuff more than most just don't expect me to know what it means to be anything else automatically is gay-forward a real thing or a pun?
I hope you like it truly if it's not good though I can always get you something else
i don't wanna say you guys had that "two dudes in the pyramid" vibe but i guess you've found enough smut about yourself to know huh and no, i made up gay-forward i think
there's nothing you could get me that'd be disappointing you could get me fuckin soap and i'd love it like "damn, james looked at limoncello and thought of me"
it makes me uncomfortable the stuff people have written about me and Steve Steve apparently doesn't really care but I guess I always thought more about that stuff than he did so maybe that's just my problem
well I would want you to really love it and not just be like here is this random thing he got me and I love that he got me anything
yeah i bet it would like, if people had conspiracy theories about me and erika being an item it'd be fucking weird so, i dunno i don't think it's wrong to care though you want people to see you how you are
look, i trust you that you've got some great thing going on but i'm just saying even if it was soap, i'd love that soap, dead ass
I don't know what kind of spice things are in now I just only know Old Spice being the spicy thing
God I don't even know the name of my aftershave... some cheap thing I found that I barely use
( he mostly just smells like cheap soap instead. but ocean-y since that's apparently what the industry thinks men smell like. ocean-y or woods-y or like some sort of dirt or leather. it changes sometimes depending on what's on sale. )
yeah old spice is still around volcano is an old spice thing there's a million different ones wolfthorn and bearglove are lit but those are like deodorant and bodywash and shit like that my aftershave is nivea one time i needed one and it was on sale so it's just what i use now lol
erika? i haven't said anything but i also haven't hung out with her as much or let her borrow my apartment for parties so she might have a feeling she is psychic though like clairvoyant psychic so she might know anyway don't take it like i'm trying to hide you or some shit though i'm gonna say something i just haven't had an actual s/o since like high school i didn't wanna say something and then fuck it up
I knew I recognized it we had that before also Nivea I haven't really used cologne since the 40s though honestly, a lot of stuff nowadays is scented very strongly so I'm not really sure that I need to do something else for it unless I'm trying to be something or whatever
( which is to say he's not something in his own eyes. it's fine. don't worry about it. )
it's fine if you want to hide me there are good reasons why people would want that I know the norm is to say that that's not okay but I'm not going to pretend telling everyone I have a significant other isn't going to make waves both publicly and in the dark
and not that I don't think you can defend yourself with your psychic shit but I'm not going to willingly make you a target for anyone like any of those people deserve to know about my love life anyway
for what it's worth i like how you smell what do you mean be something? like going undercover or some shit? i get paranoid i smell like cigarettes or vomit or whatever all the time like no one says it but who the fuck is gonna say it, and what if i can't smell it because i'm noseblind to it, you know you would probably say, though, right being all sensitive
anyway there are only two whole people i'd tell erika and tori are safe, hand on heart and all that
that said, like, i worry about you too, you know what being with me would mean for you i know you can handle yourself but it's the same shit you said about me like, i hate that winky saw you because it means my boss saw you but i knew it was gonna happen
what do I smell like to you? no like trying to have a life and stuff sensitive isn't the word I would use but yes I would tell you since I'd assume you wanted to smell like those thing and I don't really think you smell like either that much cigarettes after you've had one or two I think? but after it just fades and I smell you like YOU you
I don't have a lot of people I'd tell left which is really to say none maybe Sam? if things get potentially dangerous for you
( and steve's gone. he doesn't say it. but he's thinking it. repeatedly. )
do you think he'd try to use me against you? I'm trying to understand the worry
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I definitely doI think you just
turn it into something cool somehow in your head maybe
omfg you'd kill menot literally but likewell also maybe literally eventuallyno subject
i think you say cheesy shit sometimes but that's not dumb
you're just being you, yknow
i like it
but anyway like
bro imagine if you died of sexual frustration instead of
i dunno
aliens or some shit
it'd be pretty funny huh lmao
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you're sweetI'm gladI mean I think the fact that I functionally haven't had to worry about it much for this long probably means that wouldn't actually happen to anyonebut I am glad I'm being picked last anymoreno subject
is that a challenge???
or are you sad about aliens, i can't tell 🤔
*glad I'm not being picked last anymore
who'd believe me even if I did?it's just a you and me thingno one else needs to know shit
wow neither?I meanif I didn't do a good job, I'd understand
sorryno subject
what are you even talking about
why do you think you didn't do a good job?
because i didn't think you could do drugs
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huh?umnever mindsorry
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why do you think you were bad?
i had a great time dude
you liking it was the most important part to me, so unless you were bullshitting all those noises....
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oh my God don't just say that( what if peoplehearread it??? )they were real but like I haven't done anything like that in decades and I know I fumbled a lot too, even with you being patient with meI justI'm not sure why you would want to stop that stuff now, but if that's what you'd prefer, I was just trying to say that I'd understand why you might want that, even if it wasn't for a challenge
no subject
a challenge to sexually frustrate you or something
but not forever???
like, teasing someone until they want it really bad, then it feels better when you finally get it
i dunno, i wasn't thinking that hard about it
see, this is what i mean with the dumb shit
i didn't know you'd take it that way
i don't wanna stop having sex with you
not for real
you can't get better at anything without trying at it a bunch first, so who gives a fuck about fumbling
i'm telling you, the hottest part to me is when i can get you to make those fuckin noises and saying my name like that
i'm not gonna be disappointed unless i think you hated ME
no subject
not that it stops him from turning red as he's typing back. )
it's not dumb! that would be reallyreally fun
I think
I'm just not used to talking about anything like thisat all
it kind of wasn't really a thingsex was just sexmaking babies
and you just do it the same way cause you're not supposed to talk about it
or well you're supposed to feel ashamed when youtalk about it
look
I'm justI'd like it okay so it's not dumb and you're not dumb I'm just not that smart maybe
that's the stuff I like most when I'm with you toothe reactions you have andsaying my name
the way that you do
I could never hate you, Alexanderyou're stuck with meno subject
it wasn't just making babies though
not that i've got the whole eye-witness account but gay people have been fucking around for like forever
literally lol
you know all that shit in egypt where it's like "these two dudes lived in the same house and shared everything and they left everything to each other when they died, and they got put in the pyramid the married couple way but that was probably a mistake because they were like brothers"?
those dudes HAD to be fucking
anyway
nah i get what you mean though
it's not like people today aren't still kinda like that
the ashamed of talking about it thing
you're not dumb, i just say shit without thinking about how it sounds sometimes
i'm dumb
good, i wanna be stuck with you
i love you, james
thanks for putting up with me
no subject
well yeah I know people have been fucking around forever but I'm likethe most stereotypical white guy from the 30s so why would I do that?
you're not dumbstop it
if anyone's dumb about this it's definitely me, not youI'm the moron who never questioned his preferences because I had it too goodI love you too okayso goddamn fucking much I'm not even sure I'm doing any of this rightspending time with you is something I love thoughnot something I put up with
no subject
recognizing your privilege is the first step
nah but really like
i'm sorry i stressed you out
just gotta be more straight-forward in sex talk
or gay-forward
lol
aw shit dude i'm gonna cry
i hope this means my birthday present is gonna be lit as fuck
[ he was feeling too many emotions and had to run and do a kickflip over them. ]
no subject
I mean I was always aware of itI was never not aware of it
when your best friend is someone like Steve, you think about a lot of that stuff more than mostjust don't expect me to know what it means to be anything else automaticallyis gay-forward a real thing or a pun?I hope you like ittruly
if it's not good though I can always get you something elseno subject
i guess you've found enough smut about yourself to know huh
and no, i made up gay-forward
i think
there's nothing you could get me that'd be disappointing
you could get me fuckin soap and i'd love it
like "damn, james looked at limoncello and thought of me"
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it makes me uncomfortablethe stuff people have written about me and Steve
Steve apparently doesn't really care butI guess I always thought more about that stuff than he did so maybe that's just my problemwell I would want you to really love it and not just be like here is this random thing he got me and I love that he got me anythingno subject
like, if people had conspiracy theories about me and erika being an item it'd be fucking weird
so, i dunno
i don't think it's wrong to care though
you want people to see you how you are
look, i trust you that you've got some great thing going on
but i'm just saying
even if it was soap, i'd love that soap, dead ass
no subject
Erika's your best friend, then?I dobut I'm also a public figure so it's not exactly something I can control regardless
it's not soapI can't ruin your Old Spice-y sort of smell anyway
I love how you smell with all of it mixed togetherno subject
you'll meet her some time
pretty sure she's the nicest person on earth so
my old spice-y smell?
yeah that's the charcoal flavored body wash
uhhh volcano
[yes this man just called a scent a flavor 🤦♀️]
my cologne is viktor & rolf spicebomb though
if you need to know what to spray on your pillow to think of me 😏
no subject
I don't know what kind of spice things are in nowI just only know Old Spice being the spicy thing
God I don't even know the name of my aftershave...some cheap thing I found
that I barely use
( he mostly just smells like cheap soap instead. but ocean-y since that's apparently what the industry thinks men smell like. ocean-y or woods-y or like some sort of dirt or leather. it changes sometimes depending on what's on sale. )
does she know about us?no subject
volcano is an old spice thing
there's a million different ones
wolfthorn and bearglove are lit
but those are like deodorant and bodywash and shit like that
my aftershave is nivea
one time i needed one and it was on sale so it's just what i use now lol
erika?
i haven't said anything but i also haven't hung out with her as much
or let her borrow my apartment for parties
so she might have a feeling
she is psychic though
like clairvoyant psychic
so she might know anyway
don't take it like i'm trying to hide you or some shit though
i'm gonna say something
i just haven't had an actual s/o since like high school
i didn't wanna say something and then fuck it up
no subject
I knew I recognized itwe had that before also
Nivea
I haven't really used cologne since the 40s thoughhonestly, a lot of stuff nowadays is scented very strongly so I'm not really sure that I need to do something else for it unless I'm trying to be something or whatever( which is to say he's not something in his own eyes. it's fine. don't worry about it. )
it's fine if you want to hide methere are good reasons why people would want that
I know the norm is to say that that's not okay but I'm not going to pretend telling everyone I have a significant other isn't going to make waves both publicly and in the darkand not that I don't think you can defend yourself with your psychic shit but I'm not going to willingly make you a target for anyonelike any of those people deserve to know about my love life anywayno subject
what do you mean be something? like going undercover or some shit?
i get paranoid i smell like cigarettes or vomit or whatever all the time
like no one says it but who the fuck is gonna say it, and what if i can't smell it because i'm noseblind to it, you know
you would probably say, though, right
being all sensitive
anyway
there are only two whole people i'd tell
erika and tori are safe, hand on heart and all that
that said, like, i worry about you too, you know
what being with me would mean for you
i know you can handle yourself but it's the same shit you said about me
like, i hate that winky saw you because it means my boss saw you but i knew it was gonna happen
no subject
what do I smell like to you?no liketrying to have a life and stuff
sensitive isn't the word I would use butyes I would tell you since I'd assume you wanted to smell like those thing
and I don't really think you smell like either that muchcigarettes after you've had one or two I think? but after it just fades and I smell youlike YOU you
I don't have a lot of people I'd tell leftwhich is really to say none
maybe Sam? if things get potentially dangerous for you( and steve's gone. he doesn't say it. but he's thinking it. repeatedly. )
do you think he'd try to use me against you?I'm trying to understand the worry
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