smokes: (Default)
alex k███████ ([personal profile] smokes) wrote2025-03-05 03:59 pm
counterstep: (слушать)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-29 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
Erika's your best friend, then?
I do
but I'm also a public figure so it's not exactly something I can control regardless


it's not soap
I can't ruin your Old Spice-y sort of smell anyway

I love how you smell with all of it mixed together
counterstep: (суждение)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-29 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know what kind of spice things are in now
I just only know Old Spice being the spicy thing


God I don't even know the name of my aftershave...
some cheap thing I found
that I barely use


( he mostly just smells like cheap soap instead. but ocean-y since that's apparently what the industry thinks men smell like. ocean-y or woods-y or like some sort of dirt or leather. it changes sometimes depending on what's on sale. )

does she know about us?
counterstep: (are u mad)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-29 07:36 am (UTC)(link)
I knew I recognized it
we had that before also
Nivea

I haven't really used cologne since the 40s though
honestly, a lot of stuff nowadays is scented very strongly so I'm not really sure that I need to do something else for it unless I'm trying to be something or whatever

( which is to say he's not something in his own eyes. it's fine. don't worry about it. )

it's fine if you want to hide me
there are good reasons why people would want that

I know the norm is to say that that's not okay but I'm not going to pretend telling everyone I have a significant other isn't going to make waves both publicly and in the dark

and not that I don't think you can defend yourself with your psychic shit but I'm not going to willingly make you a target for anyone
like any of those people deserve to know about my love life anyway
counterstep: (designs)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-30 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
what do I smell like to you?
no like
trying to have a life and stuff

sensitive isn't the word I would use but
yes I would tell you since I'd assume you wanted to smell like those thing

and I don't really think you smell like either that much
cigarettes after you've had one or two I think? but after it just fades and I smell you
like YOU you


I don't have a lot of people I'd tell left
which is really to say none

maybe Sam? if things get potentially dangerous for you

( and steve's gone. he doesn't say it. but he's thinking it. repeatedly. )

do you think he'd try to use me against you?
I'm trying to understand the worry
counterstep: (damn seagulls)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-30 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
what if it's my blood?

kidding
it's probably the gun oil
it takes on a certain smell when cleaning a gun

the arm doesn't smell like anything even to me but that's probably since the vibranium has been thoroughly refined
also I think your sense of smell is fine if you can pick up on the gunmetal

so there

right
I'm not asking because I don't understand the concept
I'm just not sure what exactly he thinks he can do or what you think he'd do

he's not part of my world and I'm not part of his
but the people I know actually control a lot of the world we both exist in and I have to make concessions for that regardless
counterstep: (well well well)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-30 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Alexander 🙂

( he probably meant to use the smirk. maybe. )

honestly? none of that is too different from HYDRA
but there's a difference between choosing to be involved and acting from outside their means

to me, I mean
I know you don't feel that way but that's usually where things come apart

you have to be part of the machine to feel the consequences of it

you are already
I'm not

he can't do anything to me unless he forces me into the machine
and I already have nothing to lose

(other than you but like you're already in it, as I said, and your function is already guaranteed)
counterstep: (i don't like it)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-30 07:07 pm (UTC)(link)
of course I do
sorry I wanted to keep it flirty but I need to address this properly

this is what love means
love means that sometimes you make choices for each other that you know might hurt but you have to trust are worth the risk
being able to accept that hurt is part of loving someone, even if things don't go the way you personally prefer
ESPECIALLY if they don't

and if that's too much

well I don't think I need to say what the solution is
but that's just what it means to love


and I'm not like...whatever you mean when you say "I don't know how to be like you about it"
I'm afraid too
people know about you that I don't want knowing about you

the world isn't as big as we like to pretend it is
but I thought letting it go was worth it, getting to see you and be with you for a week




if I'm asking too much of you, then I understand
but to me, you'll always be worth it, Alexander
counterstep: (how did you find me)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-30 10:24 pm (UTC)(link)
( oh. he could cry. but won't. )

you are, though
brave
you admitted how you felt when you didn't have to
and you gave me a chance when you didn't even know what it really meant yet because you felt it mattered enough

you're the sun in my sky, Alexander

that's how love is though
if you do the same I'll probably feel bad too
scared for you when I think you only deserve the best and maybe I can't really give that to you anyway
upset that I'm not more and can't be the answer to your problems, that you can hurt even when I do everything to try and stop it


but I love you because you're you and not because you're someone else
if you were any other way, you wouldn't be the man I love
counterstep: (смысл)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-31 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
> it didn't feel very brave
most things that other people think are don't feel that way

you can be shitting your pants doing it but people will still see the strength you didn't realize you were wielding
it's not as obvious to us in the hot seat, you know? cause we're just in our heads and we don't always see the big picture

and yeah I know
this may be spoilers but I'm actually pretty famous for being a great sitting companion for that dude who was Captain America
idk if you heard


also
I may want the best for you but I'm not loaded so I'm not sure how I would pull filet mignon out of my ass on a whim

don't worry, I know tasty burger is tasty
but if you ask for knock off blue Gatorade cause we can't find the real stuff, I'm still going to look for it
so

just so you know that I agree mostly on principal but disagree by certain premise

if there is something I can do, you have to let me know though, okay? I'm usually just guessing and if I don't know for sure, I'll keep trying to guess, even if I got it right already
I can't know unless you tell me


pretend the heart emoji is here
I typed it and it's just so
weird looking to me I'm not sure if I can actually send it
counterstep: (pff)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-31 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
yeah the other thing
I have a lot of love
and a lot of patience


I mean I don't think either of us would prefer filet mignon over tasty burger
we both know tasty burger has clout
it's tasty burger
everyone knows tasty burger


( it's a brand™ now. )

I'm bad about it to so I get it
but I just know when we have sort of crossed wires it's always when we don't understand each other

and I guess I want to find a way to protect us from being blind to each other when we have the time to spare for it
does that make sense?

💙


you just like blue because of Gatorade though
counterstep: (haha shut up)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-31 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
yes I know there's one by the common you goof

( this is why he's making the joke!!! )

yeah
same for me, okay?

we can work on stuff together
independently I mean but like
in tandem
ish

with cheats

I wouldn't know I've never had Gatorade
if my hearts are blue in real life does that mean I'm dead?
black seems like a different problem
like
a zombie or something

anyway you just want to be cooler than me I guess so I'll let you have it
counterstep: (welp)

[personal profile] counterstep 2024-07-31 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
then get some 🙂

supposedly
it's not really the thing I was aware of before but I guess it's the modern thing and we're modern people


you make it almost sound like you have cut open a dead body
but I appreciate the insight

I was mostly just postulating
for the record also

and wasn't actually confused
🖤

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