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[smokes]

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[smokes]

[ alex won't tease him about the usage of "doing it", especially not after he didn't take mr. darcy well 😭 it's okay, he loves him for it... ]

yeah i hear you
it's like my migraines
even if they were "normal" migraines you can't really diagnose them anyway, you have to prove it's not anything else
but it's obviously related to psychic shit, but what can they do with that, i'm double fucked
just fucking getting through it on my own

anyway
if there's anything you need help figuring out, we could get even more familiar... 😏

[counterstep]

yeah exactly like that
a lot of things that are just anomalies to them are normal for us
so it's easier not needing to explain and figuring it out by myself and such

though
if I'm there, and you have a headache, I do think it helps if I'm there to distract you
for what it's worth

( he means like cuddling but alex can...read that however he wants. )

figuring out like what?

( he's too vanilla to know what this means, bruh. )

[smokes]

[ don't worry, alex took it in the most pg-rated way possible 😂 😭 ]

i like when you're there to distract me
you're really good at taking care of people you know


and i was going for innuendo again
not well lmao
but i mean if there's anything i can do... in general, i dunno
healing your cuts and scrapes or some shit

[counterstep]

it's what I thought my purpose in life was for a long time

( and then steve didn't need him anymore, and... )

oh like


like trying stuff you mean?

( ...he's definitely blushing now. )

cuts and scrapes aren't usually that big of a deal
but I might trouble you with a broken rib or two

I mean
assuming you're in town

[smokes]

yeah? if that was what you thought, what would you have done without the draft? like, career-wise
or did you ever get a chance to think about it

yeah, i mean
if you wanted to
no pressure though, dead ass

i could give it a shot
i mean, i can, i have before
it's just harder because it's more work to put something together than take it apart, right
actually
i wonder if it would be different because you heal fast
like i'd only need to push instead of shove

[counterstep]

didn't exactly think heavily on it but I kinda wanted to go into engineering
don't think I'm actually smart enough for that though
considering the people I knew

I mean
only if you want to
I don't want to put pressure on you either

we can try next time we're together, if you want
it's not that hard to break a rib if you know how to
I get what you mean about putting something together instead of destroying though

pretty sure I'm only good at destroying

[smokes]

i mean, i think you're smart as fuck
i don't know jack shit about engineering, though

dude, if you wanna try something out, that's what i'm here for
vanilla, bdsm, the weird shit
whatever you want, let's go

did you just
are you offering to break a rib for me, for science
you are fuckin bonkers and i love you

but yknow
me too
i'm only good at breaking things
but maybe i could be better at fixing things if i tried

[counterstep]

it was the new thing, then
I believed a lot in it
and it did get us far but I'm not sure if I really have the brain for it, even if I loved reading about it

I
don't know the names of things so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to express any of that

well yeah cause it takes like a couple weeks at worst anyway so it wouldn't be that big of a deal
you're pretty good at fixing things, as far as I'm concerned though

[smokes]

real
that's me with most science shit anyway

oh, uh
you know, i never thought of where to go to learn about that kind of stuff
like watching porn doesn't explain-explain things
maybe reddit

anyway
i don't really try to fix things on the reg
like i said, it's hard
and it's the only time i ever hit my limit
but you make me feel like i could
i patched up that bird okay

[counterstep]

right

I mean
risky searching on Reddit isn't a game I particularly like playing
but sure

that bird was sweet on me up until I let him go
feels a little unfair, considering you did all the work

[smokes]

i dunno dude, google's just as risky

nah
you probably made it feel safe
since you tend to do that

[counterstep]

wasn't saying Google was better
just that I'm not keen on searching that stuff cause I dunno what kinda stuff I'd get

me?

( sounds fake. )

[smokes]

yeah you
i already told you that you make me feel safe
don't make me say it again
the emotions might give me hives

[counterstep]

dunno about you but hives sounds like the opposite of safe

but I do try my best
I'm just not sure it's the right way of it sometimes
that's all

[smokes]

i think as soon as i tell you specific things you do, you start overthinking it
it's just all the little things you do piled up together

[counterstep]

well



a lot of the things I've done aren't anywhere near as kind or caring as you tend to depict
so

[smokes]

i like that stuff too
maybe like isn't the right word
the fucked up stuff is part of what makes you you
if i didn't see some of it, i wouldn't see the part of you that makes me hope for things
for me
and i know it's not the same
but that doesn't mean it doesn't mean something

[counterstep]

I
really hope you don't like the fact I killed a bunch of people??

but I think I understand
sort of

I'm not sure it's supposed to mean anything good though
that stuff

[smokes]

no!! that why i reworded it, i knew it would come out wrong

but anyway, i mean
maybe not
i don't think killing a bunch of people means anything good usually
but you mean something good to me

[counterstep]

I don't really kill people anymore so there's kind of a difference there though

[smokes]

well yeah
can't you just accept that i like you because you're you
if you weren't you, you would be somebody else
and i don't care about whoever that is

[counterstep]

you're really sweet, Alexander




I love you

[smokes]

i love you too

[counterstep]

I'm glad I met you
even if it wasn't the best circumstance

[smokes]

if it weren't for you i could've choked on my own vomit so
there's probably worse meet cutes out there