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[smokes]

Comments

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( just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute. )

how????

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work reasons
very important
it's okay a tree caught me half-way
lol
i'm fine as long as i don't move

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the fact you're texting me means you're moving???

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moving as in getting up, jackass
like large motor control

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I'm calling an ambulance

where are you

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don't you fucking dare
the ground

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you know that I don't have to ask your permission to find out, right?
I'd prefer you give it than make me triangulate you from tower pings

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DO NOT CALL AN AMBULANCE

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you fell off a fucking roof, Alexander

I'm worried

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i said i'm just gonna chill for a minute
then i'm gonna get up
and be fine
i don't need an ambulance

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do you know if you avoided a concussion?

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i think i hurt my back
i'm gonna fix it, it's not a big deal
don't call an ambulance

[counterstep]

you don't even know if you have a concussion

you can fuck yourself up more if you do that man
brains aren't bones

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no shit that why i'm gonna wait until i can focus
mr expert
don't call an ambulance

[ i.e. he already knows this and would rather literally lay on the ground and wait to die than go to the hospital 💀 ]

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fine
but that's not going to stop anyone else from noticing you and calling them instead

( foreshadowing. )

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the fuck they will
i'm just chillin for a minute, then im gonna get up and go home
it's all gonna be fine
it's not that bad

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you always say it's not that bad
and still end up in the hospital like 50% of the time

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no i don't
people just think i should end up in the hospital
i don't go
because i don't need to because i can handle my shit

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yeah that would be proven if you could get up and leave before they drag you to the hospital

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when i tell you i'm gonna go i don't
i usually don't hurt my back
i don't go to the hospital and you would know if i was there because i'd be having a panic attack dude
i hate the hospital
that's why you're not gonna call an ambulance and i'm just taking a minute

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I know you hate it but if you're too hurt to fix things, there's nothing wrong with help
even if it means you might have to panic a little

like I get it there's stuff like that for me too but I still do it because I have to to survive

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it's fine i'm getting up now

[ he types while continuing to lay on the ground and not move, like an idiot. ]

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I hope you're not lying to me

[smokes]

i'm not, i'm moving

[ his fingers are moving. therefore, not a lie. ]

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if you're doing the stupid "I'm texting you so I'm moving thing" I swear to God Alexander

( bro, he made that comment earlier already. )